Kathleen's Adventures

How do I do it? What is the secret? I clearly do not know. I have always thought that a little humility goes a long way, but at the same time I am realizing having a total lack of confidence in myself is not helping me in the least. When I look to others for that confidence, or know someone does believe in me, I am good to go, but when that someone, whether it be a friend, boyfriend, or family member no longer believes in me, my world is shattered - sometimes just for a short while and other times I think a part of me is gone forever. I am just so torn on all of this and just plain don't get it for the most part. So what if I walk around through life really thinking I am great and it turns out I really am not? Then what? I look to others to judge where I stand because to me it does not matter if I think I'm great - if no one else does then what am I left with? Me, my great self, and absolutely no one else. I did something awesome just over a week ago. Really, really awesome. I ...

What are you supposed to do when the people closest to you think less and less of you the more they get to know you? The people who know you, but don't know you well, say you are great, that you do good things for people, etc, etc. But those closest to you don't think the same. They see more and more of an ugly person the more they get to know you. They are less and less impressed and then eventually decide you aren't worth their time and energy. What are you supposed to do? When it happens over and over again? Crawl in a hole where no one else is, that way there is no one to let down or disappoint? Lose a heart so you don't care what people think? Just accept that you are never going to be good enough? I just don't know. I do know this is a disturbuing trend in my life and I hate it. I feel disgusted at the thought that deep down I really am not a good person. I know God will not give me more than I can handle, and I pray about all of this each night. Sometimes it ...