Kathleen's Adventures

Sigh.  Here we are again.  We knew all along we would be able to start the process for baby #2 when Sloane was nine months old.  I had said we did not necessarily want kids that close together, but knew just because we started then did not mean we would get pregnant then.  If I had only known how true that is becoming.  Silly us had started having visions of three kids.  The only way we can have three kids is to have things go smoothly, not lose embryos, and not lose time.  Well, so far we have lost an embryo and a lot of time in the quest for our next baby. I breezed through prep for our transfer in early May.  The stress load was so much less than before because I thought we had it figured out.  We had Sloane as a great distraction.  My lining was better than it has ever been before - by far.  Then, the day after Mother's Day, I found out it did not work.  And I was immediately thrown back into the depths of infertility hell....

As I sit down to write this, I'm shocked to see February 27, 2022 was the last post I've written about our IVF journey.  In some ways, it seems like so much has happened over the last year, and on the other hand it seems like nothing has happened at all because we are back to square one. I'll provide a quick summary of the last year, but please understand this won't even begin to describe the true roller coaster ride we have been on.  I actually don't think it is even appropriate to call it a roller coaster because that indicates there are some ups.  Our ride has been more like a train ride through hell. After our failed transfer in February, we decided to take a break in March to let my body rest a bit before transferring our next embryo.  During that time, a friend reached out and told me about her friend that hadn't had success here but did at CCRM in Colorado.  At the time it almost felt like a divine intervention, but I now know better.  We spent seven...

My mind has been racing since yesterday afternoon (well, let's get real - it has been racing for almost two years when it comes to building our family) when I watched a video an old childhood friend sent me.  It was of him sharing his and his wife's story of trying to build their family with his church congregation several months ago.  He said he had been following our story and hesitated to send the video but finally felt that he should share.  He just said "fast forward to 1:28 in the video."  I had no idea what I was about to watch - I did not expect it to be him speaking, and certainly did not expect it to be sharing their story of a years-long struggle for a baby.  Tears streamed down my face (common theme these days) as I listened.  It is funny, I think his is the first story I have heard in a while of a friend going through this.  I have plenty of internet and new friends I have met in the "worst club with the best members" and I want nothing mo...

Written February 18 - Day 1 Post Transfer We have kept this under wraps as best as we could.  We wanted to be able to still have some element of surprise of a pregnancy announcement for our family and close friends.  When you share a transfer date, you are also sharing that pregnancy test results can be expected in ~9 days. It is a hard balance for me to maintain.  Sharing our journey has been so incredibly cathartic.  I also firmly believe in sharing to lessen the stigma, or the silence that surrounds infertility.  I want to encourage those new to the journey.  I want to educate those who are new or those who will never have to face this themselves.  I have said it before and I will say it again.  Navigating infertility sucks.  Really bad.  Also, when there is grief involved, I have a very hard time going about my life acting as if nothing is wrong.  If you were diagnosed with cancer or lost a dear loved one, you would not be expec...

Many of you knew I froze two rounds of eggs ~4.5 years ago.  A lot has happened since then.  First, a few parts not directly related to those eggs: I met Danny in late July 2018 We got married in May (and September!) 2020 I refused to consider trying to get pregnant until about two weeks before our September wedding...that damn dress had to fit I turned 40...during covid...on Valentines...during an epic winter storm in which everyone was stuck at home for over a week We had two failed IUIs and one failed medicated cycle - the first IUI being on the first snow day in January.  I was certain that was good luck as we slid out of our driveway to get to the dr office.  Now, about those eggs: While we were off snow skiing in March, my first batch of eggs was fertilized.  If you recall, I froze two rounds - the first was 16 eggs and the second was 19 eggs.  Initially, it sounded a bit overkill to even fertilize the whole first batch, but I felt like it was the wa...

In my last post , I discussed in detail my first round of egg freezing, or oocyte cryopreservation.  When I wrote that post, I was on the fence about whether or not to do a second round.  I ended up meeting with my doctor the next week and decided to go ahead and plan for a second round.  I was very at peace with the decision as soon as I walked out of the office, and I'm thankful for that.  Per my doctor, an average round produces 10 eggs and that gives you roughly a 40% chance of having one child.  I have 16 eggs frozen so we could possibly call that a 60-70% chance at one child.  I do not like those odds.  I am risk-adverse by profession, and heavily insured (yet have no problem jumping out of planes or climbing tall things...but that is a different story).  I feel I will be able to rest much easier knowing I have 25-30 eggs sitting there waiting for me vs the 16.  Granted round two is not necessarily guaranteed to go as well as round one,...