Who I do and do not want to be

I am learning a lot about this. I think everyone should always be learning about who they want to be, because once you stop trying to learn, you are essentially saying you think you've learned it all and think you are an awesome person, or you have settled to be good enough. Well, I don't think I'm an awesome person, and I am not ready to settle and think I am good enough. Therefore, I am constantly learning about myself and other people.

It sounds a little cliche, but actions really do speak louder than words. This has always been true to me, but sometimes it seems to be way more obvious than others. You or I could say something, and "really mean it", but truly, it does not mean much until it is acted out. Take love for example. People say "I love you" all the time. But do they really mean it? Do they act on it? Do they show love on an everyday basis? Or, "this or that is very important and means a lot to me." Does it really? Do you really act like it does, day in and day out? Or, my favorite is intent: "I intended to do it, or not to do it, therefore it must be okay, right?" Wrong.

I have been doing a lot of observing lately, both of people around me, and of myself. I have learned a lot about the person or friend I want to be and the person or friend I do not want to be. I have witnessed certain actions or behaviors and have thought "wow - that is awesome. I hope I act like that, or I hope I can be that kind of friend." Then I have seen some other things that have made me think "Wow. I hope I'm not that person and that I do not act that way." Then there have also been things I would not have necessarily thought of in the past - things that maybe I do or do not do, but seeing the way it looks for someone else to do, has either reinforced that yes, that is a good thing to do, or no, that is definitely not the way I want to be seen.

By no means am I saying I think I am great and I think all the people around me are awful - not the case at all. I will be the first to say I am far from perfect and that I could definitely stand to learn a thing or two about being a better person. I pray every night that I can become a better person, and I think God is answering some of my prayers right now, just not quite in the way I had envisioned...but isn't that the way it always happens?

I am surrounded by some very awesome people, and I am constantly learning from them, about the person I want to be. I am also learning to take some not-so-great situations and look for the positive and make them into a learning experience about myself, if nothing else. If I see something I do not like, I cannot necessarily change it, but I can make a note to myself to not re-create that situation for myself or someone else. In the same sense, if I see something I like, maybe something I would have not necessarily even noticed before, I make a note of that as well, and try to emulate that behavior in the future.

Sooo, that was a very long, rambling way of saying you can learn a lot from the people around you. Ideally, you are surrounded by good people so you have a lot of good stuff to learn.