Ugh. I think I'm finally facing the post-Ironman blues. I miss everyone. I miss planning the weekend training events and I miss planning our group social events. I always had something to look forward to. Most of our group put some aspect of their life "on hold" to do Ironman and looked forward to getting back to that part of life once the race was over. They put husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, friends, and family on hold. The only thing I put on hold to train for Ironman was cleaning my apartment. I feel like everyone had something to "go back to" after the race, yet I just came back to my teddy bear whose head is about to fall off. Oh, and apparently I came back to food too since I managed to gain 6 lbs in 6 weeks. I'm feeling pretty lost right now and am not sure where to go from here. Normally I don't feel very lonely, but I do right now. Hopefully this will pass soon.
Sigh. Here we are again. We knew all along we would be able to start the process for baby #2 when Sloane was nine months old. I had said we did not necessarily want kids that close together, but knew just because we started then did not mean we would get pregnant then. If I had only known how true that is becoming. Silly us had started having visions of three kids. The only way we can have three kids is to have things go smoothly, not lose embryos, and not lose time. Well, so far we have lost an embryo and a lot of time in the quest for our next baby. I breezed through prep for our transfer in early May. The stress load was so much less than before because I thought we had it figured out. We had Sloane as a great distraction. My lining was better than it has ever been before - by far. Then, the day after Mother's Day, I found out it did not work. And I was immediately thrown back into the depths of infertility hell....
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