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What are you supposed to do when the people closest to you think less and less of you the more they get to know you? The people who know you, but don't know you well, say you are great, that you do good things for people, etc, etc. But those closest to you don't think the same. They see more and more of an ugly person the more they get to know you. They are less and less impressed and then eventually decide you aren't worth their time and energy. What are you supposed to do? When it happens over and over again? Crawl in a hole where no one else is, that way there is no one to let down or disappoint? Lose a heart so you don't care what people think? Just accept that you are never going to be good enough? I just don't know.

I do know this is a disturbuing trend in my life and I hate it. I feel disgusted at the thought that deep down I really am not a good person. I know God will not give me more than I can handle, and I pray about all of this each night. Sometimes it is just really hard to keep going and trying to be a good person when those closest see right through it.

Comments

LeftRightRepeat said…
I don’t know you very well so I still think you’re great. ;) But if you’re serious about this and it happens “over and over” again, then maybe you need to learn something from it?!?! What is it about you that these people see as a fault? Is it possible that it really is a shortcoming and you’ve not been able to see it clearly? People can and do change. Perhaps if you can identify what’s pushing these “people who know you well” away, you can make changes in the way you approach that aspect of your life that address the issue. Attack it that way you attack triathlon training and you can’t fail!
KCWoodhead said…
I'm trying - never really seems to be the same thing. I try to bring what I learn from one situation into the next situation but then something completely different will become an issue.

I'm having a much harder time lately though finding lessons in any of this, other than that I am failing miserably at trying to be a good person and trying to be someone who deserves to be loved.
JuneBug said…
i cant imaging anything you do could make anyone REALLY close to you think badly... I mean honestly? thats just ridiculous. i am curious to know what it is that they say is NOT good about you that makes me not like you???
KCWoodhead said…
The list is too long. Most recently though I am selfish. Yes, I admit I have been selfish at times. I try to do something for someone else then and it is once again perceived as nothing but selfish. If my best efforts at being selfless are only received as selfish I don't know what else to do.
Steph said…
Kathleen,

I have known you since, correct me if I am wrong, you were in Jr. High. That's a long time. I have watched you grow from a plucky little girl into a beautiful, smart, talented and motivated young woman.

Every person alive has a deep inner selfish part, a sometimes ugly part. I know that I certianly do and I suspect that this close person that you are referring to in your post does as well. But someone wise once told me that the best we can hope for is to just "act as if." You make a picture in your mind of the person you want to be and then you do your best to "act as if" you were that person. The fact that you continually try to honestly assess your life performance and are continuously looking for improvement speaks volumes.

Bottom line -- you are an inspiration. I hope that my little Feburary baby girl grows up to have half of the character that I so admire in you.
KCWoodhead said…
Thanks Stephanie - there is some very good advice in there (and plenty of kind words to make me cry). As far as "person", it is more than 1 person, unfortunately.

Hopefully one day there will be no people I have upset but that may be a pipe dream. I can just keep on trying my best though and maybe one day I will get it right.
Steph said…
I think you are getting a lot right. It's always good to listen to constructive criticsm, but constructive is the operative word there. Be true to yourself and the rest will fall in in line. I hope things get better for you real soon. You deserve only the very best.

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