It is highly possible that after 3.5 years without much of a break, I'm broken. Tomorrow will be a big "test" to see how I handle running 15.5 miles in the woods. I have run 43 miles total in the 5 weeks since St. George and I am still having awful heart rate issues. I hit 194 last night on a 3 mile run at 10:40 pace. I was planning to do two loops of the park, but called it quits after one because I didn't see any advantage to continuing at that heart rate.
I'm slated to do the San Antonio 1/2 marathon next weekend, then the Sunmart 50k in December and the Houston Marathon in January. I am not sure how any of those will go, if any of them even get to happen. I am beyond sad to even think about not being able to do these races. Sunmart is probably my all-time favorite race ever. Kelly, my best friend of 26 years, my best friend in the whole wide world, is coming to Houston in January to run her first marathon, with me. What if I can't be there? The thought of not being there makes me sick.
Clearly my body is screaming for something, rest of some sort, but it isn't telling me exactly what it needs. The past 5 weeks would be considered extreme rest by any definition for an endurance athlete, but apparently it hasn't been nearly enough. I am not sure what to do from here, and I am more scared than anything else. Training and racing is what I do, it is who I am. My social hour is at 5am on a Saturday morning, not 1am at some bar on a Friday night.
I am also so crushed because finally, after five years of working my butt off, I saw some improvement...drastic improvement. I finally had hope that maybe I actually could be a runner, and that maybe one day I could finally go run or bike with most anyone, not being limited by my extreme lack of speed. I was almost there, but no. What if I'm not good enough and I will never get any faster? What if my last season was just a fluke and not really mine? Last January after I ran a 1:57 half marathon (a 25 minute PR), I thought, for the first time in my life, that maybe I'd be able to run a sub 4-hr marathon. Today I'm not sure I can even run 5 miles anymore.
Then I also take a step back and feel, once again, like a completely selfish, self-indulged wanna-be athlete whose problems really mean nothing and are 100% insignificant compared to the rest of the world. I have a wonderful family, great friends, a good job, and a roof over my head. Why should I be complaining?
You can also go ahead and say "I told you so." Have at it.
I'm slated to do the San Antonio 1/2 marathon next weekend, then the Sunmart 50k in December and the Houston Marathon in January. I am not sure how any of those will go, if any of them even get to happen. I am beyond sad to even think about not being able to do these races. Sunmart is probably my all-time favorite race ever. Kelly, my best friend of 26 years, my best friend in the whole wide world, is coming to Houston in January to run her first marathon, with me. What if I can't be there? The thought of not being there makes me sick.
Clearly my body is screaming for something, rest of some sort, but it isn't telling me exactly what it needs. The past 5 weeks would be considered extreme rest by any definition for an endurance athlete, but apparently it hasn't been nearly enough. I am not sure what to do from here, and I am more scared than anything else. Training and racing is what I do, it is who I am. My social hour is at 5am on a Saturday morning, not 1am at some bar on a Friday night.
I am also so crushed because finally, after five years of working my butt off, I saw some improvement...drastic improvement. I finally had hope that maybe I actually could be a runner, and that maybe one day I could finally go run or bike with most anyone, not being limited by my extreme lack of speed. I was almost there, but no. What if I'm not good enough and I will never get any faster? What if my last season was just a fluke and not really mine? Last January after I ran a 1:57 half marathon (a 25 minute PR), I thought, for the first time in my life, that maybe I'd be able to run a sub 4-hr marathon. Today I'm not sure I can even run 5 miles anymore.
Then I also take a step back and feel, once again, like a completely selfish, self-indulged wanna-be athlete whose problems really mean nothing and are 100% insignificant compared to the rest of the world. I have a wonderful family, great friends, a good job, and a roof over my head. Why should I be complaining?
You can also go ahead and say "I told you so." Have at it.
Comments
Luckily I lived with some meatheads my sophomore year. I gave up all other sports and just worked out in the weight room with them for a year. Smartest thing I ever did.
I suggest you scale back running for a few weeks and find another sport for a little bit. Call it cross training or active rest or just getting your mind off of running. Join a volleyball league for agility, racquetball for foot speed, indoor rock climbing if you want to improve strength. You get the idea. You won't lose much base for your upcoming races and you'll get much stronger.
Thanks for the hospitality yesterday! Given that my head is positively screaming, we probably should have stayed the night. Ugh.
And, awesome, my word verification is "boozed." No lie.
I hope your body gets over this funk real quick.
you are an inspiration to a lot of us, whether it be in the midst of your tri season, or during the dark times. either way, you are strong, and we can only stand to learn from how you gracefully handle the situation and come out stronger on the other side.
Do some things that you have been putting off or things that you have been wanting to do. The races will be there when you get back to them. Don't feel that you have to do them to ensure that they will stay on the event calendar. You need the rest and you need to be able to recover properly.
Hang in there girl.
Agree with Coach Liz. Also, does your HR elevate so much when biking? Maybe you just need to take off from running (also b/c of your foot issues) and focus on biking and more 'restive' stuff like yoga and Pilates.
I think you just pushed too hard to do a marathon after IM AZ (which was wicked hard; I was there suffering w/you in the massive heat) and your body is telling you to slow down. Another marathon will make it worse not better.
As for losing your gains, I have read and believe that fitness builds not on a straight line but as stair steps, to go up you must drop down some, recover, and then you can move up.
You really need to review your race sched. I am doing 2 IMs this year and I don't think I will do that again. So stressful (mentally and emotionally) on top of the time requirement.
Lastly, suggest you get a full blood work up to check iron, thyroid, and hormone function. I recently found I have thyroid issues when I was having horrid fatigue after moving to CO. You may have something going on and not know it.
best of luck,
Laura
Read up on Hyperthyroidism at http://www.thyroid.ca/Articles/EngE6A.html
I'm not a doctor, nor do I know much about medical science, but it could be worth a shot to visit your PCP to schedule a blood test. Apparently 13MM Americans struggle with some sort of Thyroid disorder, so it's not uncommon or untreatable.
I wish the best.
--jb